Published August 5, 2008
When writing about a beautiful shadow,
Companionship finds me hugging myself.
My knees will then buckle.
My sanity will falter,
But that's why I called him in the first place:
For help.
He dresses in black to save the blue world,
Yet I've made him become my personal knight.
He holds me tonight,
Tonight while I cry,
And keeps me from plunging after
Sadness.
I want him to be real, but I don't.
I can't betray him... I just can't.
(He's too good.)
I need
A friend.
Like you:
A lover,
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
Perhaps.
He runs a few laps around my still mind.
The shadow or him, I can't possibly choose.
They've given me life.
They're both a big lie,
But the Shadow... I know I need you
For help.
I want him to be real, but I don't.
I can't betray him... I just can't.
(He's too good.)
I need
A friend.
Like you:
A lover,
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
I need
A friend
(to hold me when I cry.)
Like you:
A lover.
(Don't leave me here tonight.)
But don't come to life,
Unless you're
The One.
My heart,
It screams for him...
The ordinary one...
Perhaps.
------
I appreciate all criticism. 
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137,553 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
I'm not in the mood to do a full-on review, so I'll just give you my comments (Sorry, post in my lyrics request thread if you want a full review and I'll get onto it a bit later, okay?)
I thought this was pretty good. I had trouble getting a tune for most of it, but you said it's lyrics from a music video you're making, so it's probably just because I'm tired.
There's weren't any spelling or grammar mistakes that I could see, so good job with that.
My favourite bit was:
Good job!
This was good, but I don't get how the title has anything to do with the writing. I like the uncoinvential lyrics, though; they're all gaa-he-likes-me. You don't need to cut off every line after two words, though, that gets a little annoying. I would also add more verses like the first two, they add some different things to the lyrics.
That was really deep, easy to relate to. Only 16? Wow. Keep up the richness in your writing, you have a gift. I really like repitition in any literature.